When you’re in college, in India, you have a lot to be worried about. You have those unit tests that everybody tries to convince you are so important. I still haven’t bought that. You have your parents who are the ones trying to convince you that if you don’t do well in your exams, you're going to end up homeless on some street in Bombay jerking off, begging for money. You have your friends, most of them are in the same boat, and the ones who are working hard, trying to get somewhere, annoy you. How the fucks are they studying when you’re not?
Soon everything starts getting to you. Everybody starts annoying you. You can’t wait to get out of the house because when you’re at home, you’re only reminded of the things you’re not doing right or not doing at all.
Maybe your situation isn’t the same as mine. But let’s just assume it is. Let’s just assume every kid my age is pissed off at something or somebody and need to vent. You’ll take up smoking or maybe experiment with drugs. Well that stuff won’t get you anywhere. And if you are like me, looking for a vice. A way out. Well kiddo, I have some great advice for you. Get into a fight.
Not just any fight. Not one of those, gay little ‘bitch slapping’ fights. Or one of those abusive, only cuss words allowed fights. I’m talking about an all out fucking brawl. I want to be throwing punches like a maniac. I want there to be blood. Maybe even kicking (I’m not very fond of kicks but if you have to hurt, you have to hurt don’t you?) Inflict as much pain as humanly possible. Make the guy cry.
I know I do seem extremely sadistic right now. But can you imagine how good that kind of fight will be? It’ll clear your fucking mind up better than weed ever can. I thought about the people I’d like to get into a fight with, a fight of this magnitude. A few guys came in mind. My girl’s ex-boyfriends? Well she’s not really my girl, I like to make-believe. But those guys! Whew! You’d need a crow bar to separate me from them. I’d fucking beat them till they broke, like literally broke.
Maybe I’m immature for wanting to hurt them so bad, but it’s not like those guys don’t deserve it. Until now, I’ve never gotten into a serious fight maybe one or two but nothing serious. I’d like to think of myself as someone who doesn’t pick fights. The worst part is, I can’t even keep grudges. With all the shit I’ve taken from people, I never reacted. At least not the reactions one would expect from the situations I’ve been in. Sometimes you fell like you're being walked on. Its that feeling when you don't feel like a man, you feel like a boy. Situations spin out of control sometimes. You feel like every decision you make, for some reason isn't for you. With these guys things got out of control, Maybe things are great now but am i expected to forget the all the bullshit I've taken? Am i not allowed to resent? Or hate? Which is why I’ve been waiting, patiently waiting to confront either one of them. It will be kind off difficult, seeing that none of them live in my city but what the hell? I love travelling. Wait till they see what I got in store for them. Epic.
For those who know nothing about starting a fight. Here is how to start.
1)
Fi 1) Find the perfect victim. Someone who is challenge but not too high on the difficulty level. You should also have a good enough reason to beat the fuck out of them. That very important. Because when you have a reason, the need to distort their face completely comes from within.
2)
2) Find the perfect soundtrack. Personally I’m a Wolfmother fan. They always seem hardcore enough to provide the right energy and yet remain in the background. If you’re into electronic music, I suggest Prodigy. Take ten minutes now to choose a good soundtrack. Remember a soundtrack is very important. Chosen one? Good. Play it in your head the next time you’re about to get into a fight. The attitude to beat the shithead standing in front of you will come naturally.
3)
3) Skill or aggression. You either need one of these. Cause if you have skill, there’s no way your opponent will want to fight back. He’ll basically give up, stick his jaw out and take the mad thrashing your about to bestow upon him. Aggression on the other hand, scares people. If I see an aggressive and I mean a raving maniac throwing wild punches, I’d instantly apologise. So you need to have either one of these and if you happen to have both you’re a fucking killing machine.
4)
4) Lastly, Balls. My uncle always said, ‘The one who throws the first punch, wins the fight.’ I realised eventually that he was right. Absolutely right. The guy who throws the first punch instantly proves two things; he’s crazy enough to beat you up, two, and he’s crazy enough to get beaten to a pulp.
Hint: Alcohol provides great benefits in brawls, completely lowers inhibitions and the amount of pain one can take.
My aunt once said (yes, as you can see I have a very violent family) that getting into a fist fight instantly clears your head. I pray to god she’s right cause I need my head cleared now more than ever. So here we are your homework assignment for the day. Get into the craziest fight possible. Bleed, bruise, and break. Just have some wild, crazy, raw fun.
This is Aaron Caeiro signing out.
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